Return of the Tukus Monster

Lucas Tukus back again. I had a really lively Memorial Day Weekend, full of adventure and mischief.

Let's see, where do I start.

The owner brought me to the park, minus the kitty leash this time (at least he can be trained). A dog came along and I climbed 15 feet up a tree so as to better... attack the scoundrel. Nope, I wasn't hiding or anything cowardly like that.

So I'm up in the tree, and the owner and the Mistress of the Theo Wirthy Spa for Kitties are calling to me to come down. I'm thinking I might stay up there for a bit, as the higher altitutdes are so kind to my sinuses. But then they start talking about calling the fire department, so I begin my way down, moving farther and farther out on a branch.

Except then a strong wind came, and I fell! Twice! First time I caught myself with my front paws and hung there like Sylvester Stallone in Cliffhanger. Then whoops! Down again! This time I fell close enough to the ground to where the owner was able to grab me.

I wasn't scared one bit!

What else did I do? Well, I got loose behind in the owner's backyard at 2 am in the morning, and started crawling around underneath some pine trees. The owner came crawling after me, but as soon as he got close, I just jumped underneath another tree. It was a great game! Plus, the owner looked like a house robber scrounging around on the ground in the dead of night. Finally he got ahold of me, but not before getting covered with dirt and scraped by pine needles.

Lastly, I felt off the deck. I was sitting there on the railing just relaxing in the sun, but I must have misstepped because I felt ten feet down to the ground! The owner had to go chasing after me again.

This morning I knocked over the coffee table, pounced on Comfy several times, removed a few clumps of her fur that I didn't find aesthetically pleasing, and then regrouped behind the couch.

Won't you take me to the Kitty Town

Lucas Tukas here. Been a few weeks, but I've been really busy. I don't much like to sit down or sit still, even for a few minutes.

My sister, Ms. Circuference (Comfy) Rotunda, doesn't seem to care for my antics too much. She was here a good two weeks before I came aboard, stepping in the very same day Goober stepped out. The owner seems to have a thing for fatties, because Comfy weighs in at 16 lbs, about twice what the veterinarian thinks she should. She's a good four years older than me, and a bit set in her ways. When she first saw me, first she said "HISS" then she said, "HREWWW," which is feline for $&#@^#^#&@! All those ear mites that plague her can't help her mood much either.

Here's some of the things I've been up to lately:

• Covered owner's hand with dozens of scratches and bite marks, such that he now appears to be an attempted wrist-slasher. Really wins them over at business meetings I hear.
• Went out in park, ran deep into forest. Owner's legs got covered in poison ivy during reconnaissance mission.
• Jumped ten feet off of a deck in chase of rabbit. Was unsuccessful. Owner came close to having his "illegal residents" discovered during reconnaissance mission.
• Harassed Ms. Comfy numerous times. Got my ass kicked and pride tarnished as a result.
• Tried unsuccessfully to walk on a leash. Didn't dig it.
• Got extremely good at chasing a toy mouse on a string.

So you can see, I've been busy. Too busy. Maybe someday I'll take a nap, but not while I'm still young!