You people are so demanding

Seems like these days everyone wants their piece of yours truly, Goober.

In truth, my life is far less glamorous than you probably think. I hate to burst anyone's proconceived ideas, but here's the lowdown on my daily activity.

I position myself equidistantly between the litter box and my food bowl, and meditate. I appear to be asleep, but really I'm contemplating which one I want to visit next, the litter box or the food bowl. Sometimes I have philosophical dialogues in my head where I consider what came first, the food bowl or the litter box. Is it possible to use the box without first visiting the food bowl? Would the food bowl lose all meaning without the litter box.

After a good two hours internal debate, I make my choice and see it through, and then return to my former position, where the struggle resumes.

This goes on until Stephanie comes home, at which time I shout at her in kitty-speak for not appreciating me and beingthe selfish one in our relationship and not respecting my emotional needs.