Valentine's day

One night Stephanie came home and thought I was sleeping soundly on the couch. But I was just pretending to be asleep, and the ruse worked because I spend 20 hours a day in a fetal position appearing to be unconscious.

Anyways, Stephanie was talking on the phone to some people about how they were going to throw a big party, and the main attraction would be a game of pinata. Except it wouldn't be your usual horse or dog covered in streamers and filled with Toostie rolls and hubba bubba; it would be me!! Your's truly, hung from a tree and molested with baseball bats!

I was wondering why I was getting fed so many cans of Nine Lives wet can food... because apparently Stephanie wants to use all of mine up for her own amusement!

And on top of this, it's Valentines Day.

I feel very betrayed right now and am not sure who to trust.