I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me

This weekend the owner is going out of town. He's been trying to find people who are willing to let me shack up with them, but apparently he's a bad salesmen because so far no one is buying the goods.

Owner's parents said no, we have our hands full with our two cats.

My weed dealer said no, I don't want his fur on my carpet.

Lisa said no, my boyfriend is allergic.

Come on people. Without your help, I'll be stuck alone for 72 hours in an apartment, bored out of my wits. I'm a social creature. I need people for my creative outlet.

Please. Let me come to your house this weekend. I'll watch you go to the bathroom, eat from your pantry and turn your clothes a lovely shade of off-white. We can cuddle until the wee morning hours, and I'll try to remember to withdraw my back claws.

Any takers?